To The Panic Room!
by AlwaysTomorrow
Summary: Just your average day in the Host Club. But whats that? Honey cussed! There's a fireplace? And what the hell happened to Kyoya? Read to find out, my pretties! ;D Special thanks to princess-of-all-sayans. For teaching me to cuss.


It had been a day like any other at the Host Club. In other words, one hell of a flocked up ride. But I'm getting ahead of myself, our story _really_ starts right after the last pervert- I MEAN _guest,_ had left for the day and the host club was left to do whatever they wanted….

Tamaki: *walks over to Haruhi* Why hello there my beautiful little daughter! How would you like to go on a date with daddy? :D

Haruhi: No.

Tamaki: Daddy will take you wherever you want! The park, the beach, my bedroom…

Haruhi: Senpai, you have a weird faraway look on your face. And the answers still no.

Tamaki: WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME! Don't you love me anymore? .

Haruhi: …*no comment*… -_-'

Kaoru: Stop tormenting her Boss. You're not her father… and I don't think she ever really liked you to begin with.

Tamaki is meanwhile crying a river.

Hikaru: And besides, she's going on a date with us! :D

Tamaki's river crying suddenly turns into a waterfall and Hikaru, Kaoru, and Haruhi have to jump into a boat and paddle to keep from floating away.

Haruhi: Tamaki-Senpai! Stop flooding the band room! I'm not going with anyone! Believe it or not I have a bunch of studying to do! Haven't any of you heard me bitching about my grades in the series?

A light bulb goes off over the three boys' heads.

Hikaru: So if you didn't have any homework….

Kaoru: You could play with us….

Tamaki: And we could FINALLY have our precious father-daughter time!

Haruhi: Psh. _Sure. _But like I said, I have a ton of-

Haruhi obviously didn't get to finish her sentence because of the three blurs that whizzed by her at the speed of light towards the closet where everyone kept their backpacks while hosting.

"Which ones hers?"

"The cheap looking one!"

"No! The oldest looking one!"

"I'VE GOT IT!"

Tamaki victoriously held up a pink backpack.

Hikaru&Kaoru: Now destroy it!

Haruhi: Wait a minute! :o

Tamaki: HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE! DIE DISTRACTING SCHOOL WORK!

He ran across the room and threw the backpack in the fire (yes, the host club _does_ have a fireplace), where it, and all its contents were immediately destroyed.

The three boys took a minute to compose themselves, shaking each other's hands and congratulating one another. While Haruhi just had an irked look on her face.

Haruhi: Tamaki-senpai.

Tamaki: Yessss my darling? =^_^=

Haruhi: That wasn't my backpack.

Tamaki: Yes well… WAIT WHAT?

Haruhi: Yeah. I think it was Honey-sempi's.

Hikaru&Kaoru: Way to go, ya duck fuck! -_-

Tamaki: T_T

The duck fuck didn't have time to make a dramatic sorrowful pose because Honey suddenly entered the band room, having no idea of tragic death of his stuff.

Honey: Hey guys, have you seen my backpack? I accidentally left Usa-chan in it earlier. 3

Haruhi: 0_0

Kaoru: 0_0

Hikaru: 0_0

Tamaki: 0_0

Yeah. They knew they were fucked now.

Tamaki: Ahahaha. That's a funny story actually, Honey-san! Ya see…I might have, possibly, thrown all your stuff in the fireplace just now thinking it was Haruhi's. Haha. Funny, right? ^_^'

At first Honey didn't say anything. Only stare at the ashes in the fireplace with squiggly blue lines over his head.

Honey: So you mean to tell me you _destroyed _my Usa-chan?

Tamaki:…*paralyzed in fear*… O_o

Honey: Tamaki.

Tamaki: Y-y-yeah?

Honey: *evil glare* Go shit a brick!

Then the most epic transformation of all time occurred. Before the hosts very eyes Honey grew, like, three feet. His smile turned into a strate line. And the next time he spoke it was in a voice like the terminators.

Honey: I'll have my revenge on you ALL!

Everyone else: :o

Tamaki: Holy shiznitts! He's gonna rampage! To the panic room!

With that said, all the sane hosts ran at breakneck speed to the steel enforced room with Honey hot on their tails! They wouldn't have had enough time to even close the door it Kaoru hadn't thrown a chair behind him to slow down the madman loli boy! (Not that it did much good, Honey caught the chair between his teeth and broke it with one big chomp…its sacrifice will never be forgotten)

Haruhi: When the hell did we get a panic room?

Hikaru: We had it built after that milk incident with Mori. (But that's another story ;o)

Kaoru: WAIT A SECOND! THAT'S IT! Mori could get Honey back to his younger self!

Tamaki: GENIOUS! Get him on the phone, pronto!

Kaoru got out his cell phone dialed the number.

Cell phone: *ring, ring, ring* Hn?

Tamaki: Usa, fire, dead, rampaging loli! HELP!

Mori: Hn?

Haruhi: Shit for brains (aka. Tamaki) barbequed Usa-chan, and now Honey's sworn to get our blood! S.O.S!

Mori: …*click*…

Hikaru: HE HUNG UP ON US! IT'S OVER MAN!

Tamaki: Then there's only one thing to do. We have to face the Honey!

The four slowly cracked open the door and peeked outside to see the band room….basically in ruins. With a deranged looking Honey curled up in a ball rocking back and forth in the middle.

Hikaru: … We're screwed. T_T

At Hikaru's words, Honey snapped his head up only to reveal he now had black demonic eyes to add to his freaky growth spurt.

Everyone: Oh shit! 0_0'

Honey got down on all fours getting ready to charge like a mad bull when Mori entered the room.

Mori: Mitsukuni, it's time this ended. (Serious voice)

Honey: KIIIILLLLLL YOUUUUUU!

The loli boy then charged towards Mori. But just as he was getting ready to lunge, Mori held up… Usa-chan? Honey stopped dead in his tracks.

Mori: *in a bored tone* Were you looking for this?

Honey's eyes turned their usual shade of blue and he literally deflated back to his normal height. (The second epic transformation of the day)

Honey: Haha! Thanks Takashi!

He grabbed Usa-chan and ran over to eat some cake that miraculously avoided being destroyed during Honeys hissy fit.

Everyone other than Mori & Honey: What the fuck?

Tamaki: *scratching his forehead* So I _didn't _demolish that stuffed rabbit? -_-

Mori: Yeah. You did. But you can buy those things for, like, two bucks at Walgreens.

Everyone: Oh…?

Band room #3 had to be rebuilt from the ground up after Honeys little 'episode'. Luckily, everyone completely forgot that the whole thing ever happened the next day.

**Two weeks later…**

Tamaki was trying to flirt with Haruhi, the twins were flying a toy plane around the room, Kyoya was working out the clubs funds on his computer, Honey was eating cake, and Mori….well, he was doing quiet guy stuff.

When all of the sudden the plane the plane the twins had been flying ran smack dab in to Kyoya's laptop causing it to fall and smash into ittsy bitsy pieces.

Kyoya: Ma…MY COMPUTER!

His glasses fell off his face to reveal glazed over eyes and his hair grew down to his shoulders within minutes.

Everyone: :o

Tamaki: Holy shiznitts! Kyoya's a hippie! TO THE PANIC ROOM!

Haruhi: Damn it all! Here we go again! -_-

**Fin XD**

**Me: Well, I think this went pretty well for my first crackfic.**

**Mori: Why didn't I come in till the very end?**

**Kyoya: At least you **_**had**_** a part! AlwaysTommorow, why the hell did I only get one line!**

**Me: Cuz I don't like you, ya four eyed piece of chicken shit!**

**Kyoya: *runs out of room crying***

**Twins: I didn't even know the prince of shadows **_**could **_**cry…**

**Me: Yeah, I seem to have that affect on people. I own Ouran High School Host Club and ALL of the characters in this crackfic! :D**

**Haruhi: Don't listen to her folks. AlwaysTommorow owns absolutely nothing, so don't sew.**

**Me: *cough* kill joy *cough*. Who said that? Hope yall have a great day! And tell me what you think!**


End file.
